He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
