Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
