if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
