Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
