Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
