he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
