Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
