After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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