matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
