I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
