took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
