I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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