There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
