You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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