i was born a porn star she said
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
