Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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