I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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