if you like me you must not know who I am
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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