p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
