Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize