there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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