She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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