u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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