girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
