thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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