remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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