I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
