OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
