why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
What a dumb baby whore.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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