where am i from again
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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