why didn't you poke me back
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize