The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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