Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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