whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
