When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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