Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
