We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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