It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You are the jesus of drinking
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
