sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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