If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize