Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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