He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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