the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
