I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
