My vagina just recognized that song.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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