Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
