i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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