Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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