I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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