Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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