you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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