it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
