Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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