At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
