Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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