If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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