I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i came on her dog
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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