the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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