somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
