After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is Oprah even human
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
