Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Drunk is not a location!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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