i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
