What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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