But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
