I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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